Todd Carney accused of pissing on man, pissing off fans, and being pissed when he ran … The Sideline Bledisloe: Deans v Henry, Mortlock v McCaw, NZ v NZ … Cadel Evans headbutts, punches and rides his way up those mountains … Nathan Brown sings, "Let's all do the grapple" … Anthony Mundine to fight Crazy Kim before targeting Paranoid Pavlik, Calamitous Calzaghe or Slightly Interested Green. Premonition Missing Firepower boss Tim Johnston will re-emerge as one of the following: 1, Morris Iemma's spin doctor; 2, lead actor in Harry Houdini film; 3, manufacturer of ground-breaking pill that, once swallowed, allows you to convince others to hand over their savings while also cutting harmful emissions by producing rose-scented farts. If there is any justice in the world Let's face it, women's sport can only benefit from controversy. A brawl between WNBL teams Los Angeles Sparks and Detroit Shock this week resulted in three players and an assistant coach being ejected from court. The fracas started when Sparks rookie Candace Parker became tangled with Shock's Plenette Pierson and both fell to the floor. Pierson then charged Parker, who sent the Detroit centre careening. Shock assistant coach Rick Mahorn came off the bench, apparently trying to restore order. But he incited more trouble when he inadvertently knocked Los Angeles forward Lisa Leslie to the floor. While Leslie lamented the brawl - saying, "I'm a mum, I don't want to represent myself like this in front of my daughter … this is not the way we want to get attention" - the sad reality is that had it not been for the fight, the game would have barely rated a mention in most media outlets. Lookalikes Sea Eagles prop Brent Kite might have been snubbed by NSW selectors, but that didn't give him any sleepless nights, as this photo reveals. The ad for a snoring solution company does reveal that the wife might not be so happy, stating, "She's sleeping in the spare room!" It seems that nothing cures insomnia like some warm calves' blood before bedtime, although when questioned by PTS , the big guy denied it was him in the photo. We remain suspicious. Professional's tip for the weekend This one's for the PR types out there. Next time you're organising a press event, take a cue from that sharp mind in New Zealand who decided to take journos into the middle of a lake for a final photo op for the nation's Olympic rowers. The boat sank, seven journos and the captain - all wearing lifejackets - ended up floating in the icy Lake Karapiro as about $300,000 worth of media gear sank to the bottom. Sounds like bad PR, but it is so clever. The next time Rowing NZ's publicity people call a presser, every sports editor in the land will send out a team on a "just in case" basis. Odd Spot "It's not often heavy metal and golf get a mention in the same sentence," wrote The Sun's Gordon Smart. "But watching TV coverage of the Open at the weekend I very nearly choked on my Tunnock's Tea Cake. Golf legend Nick Faldo was discussing metal as a secret weapon in the forthcoming Ryder Cup. Nick, skipper of the European team, has enrolled Iron Maiden drummer Nicko McBrain as part of his backroom staff to prepare for battle against the Americans in Kentucky later this year. Faldo told BBC anchor Gary Lineker he'd signed up Nicko to help motivate the team. With drum solos? I'm baffled. I'm struggling to picture Colin Montgomerie in his leathers moshing to Bring Your Daughter … To The Slaughter . It would make a terrible mess of his cashmere sweaters." The Sun It's not porn but you'll like it While the aforementioned WNBA brawl got a lot of play on US television this week, the most dramatic fight in an American basketball match - also involving Detroit - was this crowd-spilling explosion involving the unpredictable Ron Artest. Go to YouTube and search "Pistons-Pacers Brawl 2004 Worst Fight Ever" to relive the memories. Get me my cab money Bruce Sessle advises to put last week's winnings on Illuminates, No.4, in Race 8 at Canterbury. It's in career-best form and can handle the wet. If you're not watching sport, you should be listening to The Golden Age . American Music Club. Lead singer Mark Eitzel is the balding bloke sitting in the tattered comfy chair in the back of the pub nursing a schooner of Toohey's Old ruminating on life and the bad cards he (and you) have been dealt. Eitzel is without doubt one of the most underrated singer-songwriters in music. He croons heartfelt songs of bad luck, bad love and bad times. As he sings on The Decibels and the Little Pills , "No one here is gonna save you". Contender for album of the year. Ears McEvoy Useless trivia Celery is the ultimate in weight-loss food - you burn more calories digesting a piece than the celery has in it to begin with.